So, here everything is, in order of preferences.
1. London. Hey, It had the Natural History Museum! What is not to love? The crush of people? Weeell, apart from that. But, really, London is a remarkable place, and although I would not like to live there, I could do a year!
2. Canal boating. It is sooo much fun! You sit in a sloooow boat, with all of the modern conveniences, and no walking! Except when you have to do the locks, of course... Hey! There is no such thing as a free lunch.
3. Campervanning. OK, the van was small and not very comfortable, but Scotland is AMAZING! End of story! Constant vigilance! (Against the midges, see?)
3. Singapore. I could not make up my mind with the above and Singapore, and Singapore would have been higher if we were there longer... Hint hint.
4. South Downs Way. Walking. Not high on the list. But it did not smell like pipi.
5. La France est puant, comme pipi. Je suis désolé, mais ... Non, juste non.
AAANNNDDD now I have to finish the story about the kids in the Museum of Scotland.
"Arghhhhh!"
"ARGHHHHH!"
Giath and Jasd's mum looked around, hoping no-one would notice if she
threw her sons through the window. Then she realised that there was no
window. Or anything else to hurl them through.
"Oh My Goodness! It's gonna EAT ME!"
She dragged the twins into a corner and whisper-yelled at them,
reminding them that the T-rex was long gone, and not even going to fall off the
pedestal. They stared up at her with wide, unbelieving eyes.
"B-but... Night in the Museum"
"Yeah! Night in the Museum!"
She groaned. Why-oh-why did her husband let them watch that horrible
film? She was sick of them acting like monkeys and flicking peanuts at the
cat. "Giath, don't put ideas into your brother's head. Jasd, don't
copy your brother. Boys, Night in the Museum isn't real. Now, how about you go
have a look at the... the... the tiger!"
"Yeah! The tiger!" They ran off, disappearing into
the crush of people. She sighed with relief, before looking at her watch. Then
she saw that they were not at the tiger. Or the T-rex. Or in the room, at all.
Uh-oh.
"Giath, let's go into the room full of flashing lights!"
"Flashing lights! Fun! YEAH! Let's go!"
They zoomed across the floor, upsetting only three people. But, once
the crowd had dispersed, to other, more interesting things, they
saw that there were no flashing lights. Only rows and rows of dimly-lit old
paintings and signs. They moaned, and were about to leave, when a voice came
out from the shadows.
"Hey, small people. Want to earn an ice-cream?"
"Ice-cream! Yeah!"
"Yeah! Ice-cream!"
The man smiled in what he probably thought was an evil way, but was not. Instead, it looked like he had an extremely itchy nose. The boys stepped back, but the man stopped them, bending down so he was their height. "No, no. I used to be an ice-cream man, but I changed my job!"
The boys looked at him in confusion.
"W-why'd you do that?"
"Y-yeah! Why?"
The man glared at the boys, although not very successfully. "It doesn't matter! All I need you to do is touch that painting!"
"T-the one that says Jan van Huysum, Still Life of Roses, Tulips, Peonies and Other Flowers in a Sculpted Vase and a Bird's Nest on a Ledge, about 1718, Scottish National Gallery. Oil on copper?"
"Y-yeah! The one that says Jan van Huys ...."
The man looked like he was going to scream, but he pulled himself together. "Yeah, that one, now, GO! Ice-cream, remember!"
"Ice-cream! Yeah!
"Y-yeah! Ice-cream!"
They ran over, and, as they touched the picture, an alarm went off.
"Arghhhhh!"
"ARGHHHHH!"
A man ran over to them. "Hey, kids, don't touch the painting!"
"B-but the man told us to!"
"Y-yeah! The man!"
The security guard looked at them for a couple of seconds, as if wondering if they always echoed. He decided that they did, and then moved on to more important things. "So, where is this man?"
"Over by the picture that says Jan van Huysum, Still Life of Roses, Tulips, Peonies and Other Flowers in a Sculpted Vase and a Bird's Nest on a Ledge, about 1718, Scottish National Gallery. Oil on copper."
"Y-yeah! The one that says Jan van Huys-...."
"OK, kids. How about... You go get yourselves an... an... ice-cream!"
"W-where?"
"Y-yeah! Where?"
"At the shop over there, kids. Bye!"
"Ice-cream! Yeah!
"Y-yeah! Ice-cream!"
And that was were their mum found them, eating some really expensive ice-cream. She looked at them and decided not to ask. Suddenly, there was an announcement over the loud speaker. "Thanks to the guard on duty in the Painting Room, a painting known to most people as Jan van Huysum, Still Life of Roses, Tulips, Peonies and Other Flowers in a Sculpted Vase and a Bird's Nest on a Ledge, about 1718, Scottish National Gallery. Oil on copper, has been saved. The robber used kids as a distraction and then tried to steal the painting, but the kids were too good at their job. Let's hear it for the guard and kids, people!"
Giath and Jasd's mum looked at her sons, then decided that she would never ask and definitely never tell her husband.
